What is self-discipline?
“Successful people make sure that everything they do in the short term is consistent with where they want to end up in the long term. They practice self-discipline at all times.” - Brian Tracy
Success is a deeply intimate and individual concept. It changes between people and within people. The only thing my definition of success has in common with yours is that we both share a desire to achieve it.
The key ingredient for success is self-discipline. That is, the ability to make sacrifices in the short term, large and small, for gains in the long term. To be successful in our goals, we must practice long-term thinking and overcome our desire to have tension-relieve things and experiences right now.
Yet this is no small feat. We are the generation of now. We don’t want to wait, nor do we need to. Uber Eats arrives in twenty minutes. Amazon delivers the next day. We value efficiency over anything else. It is not a bad thing, except for when it interferes with our ability to engage in long term thinking (and therefore to achieve our long term goals).
As the New Year approaches, I encourage you to start training your malleable mind to think long term. Don’t wait for an icy wind to blow January upon us. Start now by following these tips:
Get clear on what your long term goals actually are. Divide them into categories: career, relationship, friends and family, finances, home and leisure. Sit down and write down what you most desire in each category. As Roxie Nafousi of Manifest-fame would say, don’t just think about what you want but how you want to feel.
Take responsibility for the distance between you and your goals. As Brian Tracy says, vote yourself off “Someday” Island and stop making excuses for your lack of achievement and progression. Stop blaming everything around you - the economy, your childhood, your evil boss, your bad luck. Accept that the only thing holding you back is your own behaviour.
Identify the behaviours that are stopping you from progressing in each of these areas. Do you want to save money, yet you buy a twenty-something pound something from Zara every week? Do you want to find a partner but only ever passively swipe on apps once a month (not having even given thought to what you are looking for)? Do you want a promotion at work, but haven’t had the courage to ask your supervisor what such a promotion would require? Write all of these behaviours down and vow to get out of your own way immediately. Not tomorrow. Not in the New Year. Now.
Break down your goals into smaller goals. Keep dividing until they are small enough to be achieved every day. Saving a deposit for a house seems impossible, but buying one coffee a day instead of two is within the realm of possibility (just). Similarly, finding the one is almost laughable, but striking up a conversation with someone on a dating app every other day is manageable (just).
Keep your daily goals somewhere you can see them. Your screensaver, or if that’s too public, in the notes section of your phone. Look at them every morning, first thing. Resolve each and every day, over and over again, to make short term sacrifices for the achievement of your long term goals. If you slip up, and buy a second coffee, don’t beat yourself up. Just get back on the horse.
The amazing thing about self-discipline is that every time you practice it, no matter how big or small the sacrifice, you will feel more in control You will trust and like yourself more and more. Who doesn’t want that?
