Women in Wellness: ALEX stone on accidental instagram success and anti-diet culture
Alex Stone, of @alexskitchenstory, with her son George
This week, I spoke to Alex Stone, the cuisine queen behind @alexskitchenstory.
I remember when Alex first launched @alexskitchenstory, her eponymous food diary, on Instagram in 2019, a year after she moved to London. She was one of the first people I knew to take their passion to social media. It was a brave move, particularly given “Tall Poppy Syndrome” - a cultural norm in New Zealand where those who put themselves out there and are successful are often criticised and cut down (for no good reason).
I asked whether the launch was a spontaneous decision or something she simmered on. “It was both thoughtful and spontaneous. I’d wanted to do a blog of some sort for a long time but didn’t know what it would look like, then one night I decided to create an Instagram on a whim, uploaded all my photos, stayed up super late that night writing up all the recipes and the rest is history!”
Alex doubts she would have started @alexskitchenstory if she had not moved to London. “London definitely gave me a sense of freedom and so much confidence. I love being a small fish in a big pond so much! London changed me so much as a person, I really found myself and it’s part of the reason I feel so passionate about people moving overseas.” I completely relate to this in every way.
Unlike many on social media, Alex’s motivation was neither money nor notoriety. She wanted to remove the mental load that comes with cooking, and encourage people to get in the kitchen to make really simple meals. She never expected her account to gain so much traction, viewing it more as a way of storing recipes that she liked.
Her unexpected growth online was an adjustment. “I found it really hard at first and I still often feel anxious walking into a room when I know people follow me! I wonder if I come across differently in person than I do online, if people think my recipes suck, or I’m cringe! I think I learnt to just bury my head in the sand a bit and pretend no one had any negative thoughts at all!” (For the record, I can confirm Alex is the same in person as she is online, her recipes definitely don’t suck and nothing she has ever posted has made me cringe.)
Despite the growing pains, Alex has welcomed the community she built and loves receiving messages from followers and photos of meals they have made. The hardest part? “Managing an audience split between NZ and the UK who are in totally opposite seasons.”
Alex’s earliest memory of being passionate about food was in her second year of school when the class was asked to submit a recipe for a class cook book. “I remember being paralysed by what to choose. Sweet or savoury, side or main, dinner or breakfast, I could not decide! I wanted the recipe I chose to be the perfect recipe.” She went on to study in the cold south of New Zealand. It took two unhappy years of studying commerce and some sage wisdom from her mother for Alex to realise that she wanted to change her focus to food science. She went on to graduate in 2014 with a Bachelor of Food Science.
Anyone who follows @alexskitchenstory will know that Alex is an exponent of anti-diet culture. I asked whether she has always had such a healthy relationship with food. “I try very much to focus what’s going in, not out. I always consider how many veggies I’m getting, adding some extra nuts or seeds or a tin of beans in with a pasta is a good example. I found this way of thinking liberating for me after so many years of obsessing about diets and wanting to lose weight. Now I actually think about food a lot less, and I never think about my weight!”
“It’s really easy to over think your message and worry about what other people are doing, try and keep your message simple, keep coming back to it every time you make any decisions.”
As someone who is growing a wellness business which relies heavily on social media for marketing, I was curious whether Alex had utilised any strategies to grow her page (other than posting recipes daily). However, Alex admits the page grew organically. “I’ve always been in a privileged position where I’ve had a full time job so any work [arising from Instagram] is a bonus. If I can’t be bothered or am lacking creativity I don’t cook, I don’t think anything good comes from forcing yourself when you’re not feeling it, but maybe if it was my only source of income I’d feel differently.”
Privileged seems an unfair choice of adjective. Hard working seems more appropriate. In addition to curating recipes for @alexskitchenstory, Alex works full time as a product developer for Sainsbury’s and co-hosts a podcast (@takeawayspod), the foodie’s answer to the ‘High Low’. Not to mention, she’s a wife and new mother.
The podcast was a just-for-fun venture, but one that Alex would eventually like to monetise. “I find [my co-host] Emma the funniest person on the planet and I could honestly laugh at her all day! We always have such good banter together and had joked for years about starting a podcast! Then we came back from New Zealand last year and agreed we would actually give it a shot! It’s the highlight of my week recording with Emma! We don’t have a road map or path to what that looks like though.” What is something that we wouldn’t know about producing a podcast? “Everyone thinks it’s just the one recording and you’re done, but the amount of time it takes to run the admin that goes with it is surprising! It even surprises me every week.”
I asked Alex what advice she would give other women wishing to create a platform around their passion. “It’s really easy to over think your message and worry about what other people are doing, try and keep your message simple, keep coming back to it every time you make any decisions.”
Alex was surprised to hear that I had always found her to exude a lovely mix of confidence and authenticity. She confessed to feeling less confident in her 30s than she was in her 20s. “I never really cared what people thought of me and as I’ve gotten older I’ve cared more rather than less. But I think that was necessary as I really didn’t give two f**ks when I was younger! I remember my mum asking me one day why I didn’t care what my teachers would think and I thought about it and was genuinely like why on earth would I care what they think? Not a bone in my body was bothered!” She admits to sometimes feeling imposter syndrome, despite knowing that it’s the “biggest waste of mental space.” I asked what she does when she is feeling down, to which she answered that she loves a good cry and talking to someone about it.
Motherhood was a transition she felt ready for and has loved thus far. “I’ve had my parents help since George was born in both London and NZ and wow that makes a huge difference! Parenting with help down the road or under the same roof is a different ball game. I credit how much I’ve loved motherhood so far to that!
Outside of cooking, Alex loves curating outfits and is obsessed with Vinted. She loves to move her body in pilates and yoga classes. Her favourite social media account is Maria de la Orden and she lives by the lyrics to “Gotta Be” by Des’ree (an iconic answer to the question of what quote she lived by). As for goals for 2024, she is looking forward to launching another season of the podcast and spending time with her son, George.
Find Alex’s recipe on @alexskitchenstory and tune in to her podcast on @takeawayspod.
